Jekyll2019-05-22T19:42:54+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/feed.xmlAlex MaplestoneMusings on creativity and individuality.An Alternative Approach to Self Improvement2019-05-22T00:00:00+00:002019-05-22T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/two-paths<p><img src="/images/climb.jpg" alt="Woman hiking an upward path, surrounded by mountains on three sides, under a brilliant blue sky." />
<a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-hiking-1183986/">Photo by Alex Tim from Pexels</a></p>
<p>There are two paths to self improvement.</p>
<p>The first is the self-critical approach. This is the hustle hard, sleep when you’re dead, race-towards-your-goals mindset we are familiar with, and the reason it’s so appealing is that it provides a false sense of motivation.<!--more--> If you work hard enough, this mindset promises that you will awake one day rich and happy and fulfilled.</p>
<p>Not only is this promise unrealistic (no matter how hard you work, you’re still going to feel like crap sometimes), it’s also harmful, pushing you to neglect sleep, downtime, and relationships.</p>
<p>Furthermore, focusing on the distance between where you are and where you want to be creates tension. It creates this feeling that you’re not achieving enough, not good enough a person, and this feeling lingers even after you reach your goals.</p>
<p>But there is an alternative–acceptance.</p>
<p>Total acceptance creates peace, a space free from pressure to change, to achieve, to be noteworthy.</p>
<p>We are all facing the same problems. We are imperfect, and that’s okay.</p>
<p>When you are content, self improvement stops being a race, and instead becomes a journey.</p>Photo by Alex Tim from Pexels There are two paths to self improvement. The first is the self-critical approach. This is the hustle hard, sleep when you’re dead, race-towards-your-goals mindset we are familiar with, and the reason it’s so appealing is that it provides a false sense of motivation.Triggered2019-04-28T00:00:00+00:002019-04-28T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/triggered<p><img src="/images/angry-phone.jpg" alt="Angry emoticon on phone." />
<a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/silver-iphone-6-987585/">Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels</a></p>
<p>We must stop becoming ‘triggered’ the second we encounter an opposite viewpoint.</p>
<p>When we react with anger and become closed minded (“My belief is the only right one! How stupid do you have to be to believe that crap?”), we trap ourselves in a dungeon of stale beliefs, diverting new, possibly life-altering information.</p>
<p>I think we shelter ourselves not only for fear of being wrong, but also of losing our identities.<!--more--></p>
<p>We hold our values and beliefs so dear that we often use them as shorthand descriptors for ourselves: “I’m a socialist/conservative, christian/atheist, optimist/realist, etc.” Labeling ourselves associates us with others who hold similar values, which gives us a sense of social belonging and purpose.</p>
<p>So it’s understandable that we feel threatened when facing new information–it could upset our whole sense of self.</p>
<p>But we shouldn’t worry.</p>
<p>Life is change. When we consider opposing views, we have the chance to grow, to change our identity, to redefine who we are.</p>
<p>Who do you want to be?</p>Photo by freestocks.org from Pexels We must stop becoming ‘triggered’ the second we encounter an opposite viewpoint. When we react with anger and become closed minded (“My belief is the only right one! How stupid do you have to be to believe that crap?”), we trap ourselves in a dungeon of stale beliefs, diverting new, possibly life-altering information. I think we shelter ourselves not only for fear of being wrong, but also of losing our identities.This is Your Life2019-04-17T00:00:00+00:002019-04-17T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/life<p><img src="/images/backpack.jpg" alt="Person backpacking in a meadow during golden hour." />
<a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-black-backpack-during-golden-hour-1230302/">Photo by Kun Fotografi from Pexels</a></p>
<p>You are going to die. Soon. Because your 100 years (if you’re lucky) is microscopic relative to time. And after you die, you will be forgotten (relatively) quickly.</p>
<p>Now, you could despair that your life is so insignificant. Or you could realize that this perspective gives you immense power to live your life.</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter what people think of you. Soon (relatively), everyone you know will be dead and the planet will be populated with people who have never heard of you. What matters is how you live: what you do, who you meet, where you go.</p>
<p>Your mistakes are ultimately inconsequential.</p>
<p>The greatest mistake is living a life of regret.</p>Photo by Kun Fotografi from Pexels You are going to die. Soon. Because your 100 years (if you’re lucky) is microscopic relative to time. And after you die, you will be forgotten (relatively) quickly. Now, you could despair that your life is so insignificant. Or you could realize that this perspective gives you immense power to live your life. It doesn’t matter what people think of you. Soon (relatively), everyone you know will be dead and the planet will be populated with people who have never heard of you. What matters is how you live: what you do, who you meet, where you go. Your mistakes are ultimately inconsequential. The greatest mistake is living a life of regret.Am I Acting with Integrity?2019-02-16T00:00:00+00:002019-02-16T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/integrity<p><img src="/images/friends.jpeg" alt="Two friends sharing a warm drink around the campfire." />
<a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/activity-adult-barbecue-bbq-344102/">Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels</a></p>
<p>I used to measure the success of social interactions based on how happy the other person was. If I offended someone, I “failed.” But <a href="https://www.theminimalists.com/outrage/">judgment is just a reflection of someone’s insecurities</a>—not my problem. While I now know that good relationships don’t depend on agreement, but on both parties contributing to the <a href="https://www.theminimalists.com/fall/">“us box”</a>, I still find myself agreeing with people to keep the peace. It feels fake. So instead of measuring outcomes, which I can’t control, I am going to start measuring my actions.<!--more--></p>
<p>To do this, I need to ask myself better questions. Instead of “Did I offend them?” I should ask “Did I act with kindness and compassion? Did I listen and try to understand their point of view? Was I true to myself?” While offending someone may indicate that I am not acting with integrity, it should serve as a reminder to reflect, and not a measurement of success. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to argue every time I disagree with someone—I’ll stand up for issues that matter, and let everything else slide. And now that I’ve clearly defined my mindset, I can work on implementing it.</p>Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels I used to measure the success of social interactions based on how happy the other person was. If I offended someone, I “failed.” But judgment is just a reflection of someone’s insecurities—not my problem. While I now know that good relationships don’t depend on agreement, but on both parties contributing to the “us box”, I still find myself agreeing with people to keep the peace. It feels fake. So instead of measuring outcomes, which I can’t control, I am going to start measuring my actions.Some Thoughts on Inspiration2019-02-10T00:00:00+00:002019-02-10T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/inspiration<p><img src="/images/notebook.jpeg" alt="A pencil resting on a blank notebook" />
<a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/wood-light-creative-space-68562/">Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels</a></p>
<p>You have more ideas than you realize. All it takes is to pay attention. Often I get so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t even notice what I’m thinking about. But when I am mindful, I can catch ideas before they leave.<!--more--></p>
<p>Write it down. Carry a piece of paper or a notebook everywhere. <a href="https://www.theminimalists.com/action/">“Never leave the scene of a good idea without taking action.” </a></p>
<p>Good ideas often happen at inconvenient times (in the shower, walking in bad weather, etc.). If I’m not near a piece of paper, I make sure I find one as soon as possible.</p>
<p>Most inspiration won’t just come to you—you have to find it. Anything can provide inspiration—something someone said, <a href="/originality/">an odd advertisement</a>, an experience you had. After getting into the habit of searching, you’ll have a gut reaction when you notice something useful.</p>
<p>I find that when I spend most of my time consuming through technology —watching videos, internet surfing, reading blogs—my mind goes quiet. Even though the activities are mindless, it’s as if my brain has used up all its energy and gone to sleep. But when I set aside time for low-stimulation activity, like yoga or reading, my mind starts to wake up and think useful things again. <a href="/writers/">Our muses</a> can give us all the ideas they want, but it won’t do any good if we are asleep.</p>Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels You have more ideas than you realize. All it takes is to pay attention. Often I get so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t even notice what I’m thinking about. But when I am mindful, I can catch ideas before they leave.How to Choose a Book2019-02-06T00:00:00+00:002019-02-06T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/choose-a-book<p><img src="/images/woman-reading-1.jpeg" alt="Woman sitting and reading a book thoughtfully" />
<a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-reading-a-book-1223345/">Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery on Pexels</a></p>
<p>When looking for a book to read the other day, I caught myself choosing based on how strongly I agreed with each premise. I hardly considered the writing or the research, or what I might learn by reading each book. I was falling victim to conformation bias.</p>
<p>We must seek different perspectives from our own. Many of our beliefs aren’t even ours—we inherited them from our parents, our teachers, our peers. When we question a belief, though, we either discover an error and adjust, or we find that a belief withstands questioning, and it becomes our own.
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<p>But a good book needs more than contrary opinions. What about quality? Here’s what I suggest: take a second look at what you dismiss. You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can get a feel for what it’s about by reading blurbs, reviews, and even excerpts on some websites (such as Amazon). Now ask yourself some questions. Has the author done any research? Is the book well written? Are the arguments logical? How does the potential for learning compare to the time it will take to read the book? If it’s fiction, how much effort did the author put into characterization, setting, plot, and dialogue? What might you learn from the character’s experiences?</p>
<p>After you’ve chosen a book, you must continue questioning, searching for flaws in the author’s argument while being open to new ideas. You may read slower this way, but this critical thinking filters out unsound arguments. Eventually you will question what you read automatically.</p>
<p>Of course, we’re not always going to want to read opposing opinions—they should instead supplement our usual choices. And we shouldn’t just question what we read, but what we watch, listen to, and what we believe. Only then can we think for ourselves. Only then can we live intentionally.</p>Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery on Pexels When looking for a book to read the other day, I caught myself choosing based on how strongly I agreed with each premise. I hardly considered the writing or the research, or what I might learn by reading each book. I was falling victim to conformation bias. We must seek different perspectives from our own. Many of our beliefs aren’t even ours—we inherited them from our parents, our teachers, our peers. When we question a belief, though, we either discover an error and adjust, or we find that a belief withstands questioning, and it becomes our own.Don’t Skip the Basics2019-01-27T00:00:00+00:002019-01-27T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/basics<p><img src="/images/tower.jpg" alt="Looking up at a mirrored skyscraper." />
<a href="https://pixabay.com/en/architecture-skyscraper-2256490/">Photo by MichaelGaida on Pixabay</a></p>
<p>Nobody wants to learn the basics. We want the get-skilled-quick solution. But when trying to create something profound, too many novices stretch beyond their abilities and create amateur work .</p>
<p>I know this from experience.<!--more--> A classically trained pianist, I struggled with improv when I joined an R&B band. I wanted to sound as good as the other, more experienced keyboardist, so I skipped the basics and tried to emulate the funk and blues masters by ear. It didn’t work. I dreaded solos.</p>
<p>Last month, I was set to perform as half a duet at a solo-filled community Christmas concert, and I knew I needed to practice if I wanted to sound half-decent. To prepare for the show, I first recognized that mastery through osmosis wasn’t going to happen. I then went back to basics and learned a few easy scales<sup>1</sup>. The show went great—someone told me that I sounded professional, and while I am still far from mastery, I improved more in a few weeks than I did in a couple of years.</p>
<p>Embrace the learning process. Even the tallest tower needs a foundation.</p>
<ol>
<li>The major pentatonic, minor pentatonic, and blues scale.</li>
</ol>Photo by MichaelGaida on Pixabay Nobody wants to learn the basics. We want the get-skilled-quick solution. But when trying to create something profound, too many novices stretch beyond their abilities and create amateur work . I know this from experience.How to Be Unconventional2019-01-19T00:00:00+00:002019-01-19T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/convention<p><img src="/images/art-man.jpg" alt="Graffiti of a man with a colourful beard" /><br />
<a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/art-graffiti-illustration-man-4776/">Photo from Picography on Pexels</a></p>
<p>North American media bombards us with slogans such as “break the rules” and “find your own path.” Demoralizing advertising tells us that we are not enough, so we accept these vague directives without considering what actually constitutes uniqueness. We then look for the easy fix—<a href="/originality/">buy products that promise personality</a>
—and we end up where we started, yearning to become more ourselves.</p>
<p>You are unique. You don’t need to broadcast you character. In fact, silent confidence cuts through the noise better than more noise. That said, breaking conventions can be liberating in art and self expression. So the question remains: which conventions are worth breaking?
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When designing a product feature that people are forced to use, <a href="https://sivers.org/quirks">breaking conventions should not trump usability</a>—it only leads to frustration for your users.</p>
<p>Beyond ease of use, how should we decide when to break tradition? In the memoir <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Tuesdays-Morrie-Greatest-Lesson-Anniversary/dp/076790592X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1547942492&sr=8-1&keywords=tuesdays+with+morrie">Tuesdays with Morrie,</a> Morrie talks about creating a subculture. Not by breaking laws or social rules, but by choosing how to live your life. “The big things,” he said, “—how we think, what we value—those you must choose for yourself. You can’t let anyone—or any society—determine those for you.” Your values are a roadmap for living your life. Once you figure out what you value—honesty, simplicity, human connection—you can start to align your actions with your values.<sup>1</sup> Eventually, you may find that your value-driven actions are countercultural. This is how we display our uniqueness. But the end goal is not to differentiate ourselves. Standing out is just a by-product of living intentionally in a compulsive society.</p>
<ol>
<li>“Values” and “beliefs” are not interchangeable. Two people might value equality, but one may believe in Socialism, while the other believes in Communism. You value things you hold important. Beliefs are how you think it’s best to practice your values.</li>
</ol>Photo from Picography on Pexels North American media bombards us with slogans such as “break the rules” and “find your own path.” Demoralizing advertising tells us that we are not enough, so we accept these vague directives without considering what actually constitutes uniqueness. We then look for the easy fix—buy products that promise personality —and we end up where we started, yearning to become more ourselves. You are unique. You don’t need to broadcast you character. In fact, silent confidence cuts through the noise better than more noise. That said, breaking conventions can be liberating in art and self expression. So the question remains: which conventions are worth breaking?The Tuscan Child | Rhys Bowen2018-12-18T00:00:00+00:002018-12-18T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/tuscan-child<p><img src="/images/tuscan-child.jpg" alt="The Tuscan Child book cover." class="book-img" /></p>
<div class="book-stats">
<p>Rating: 8/10 </p>
<p>Date Read: 2018-12-18</p>
<p>ISBN: 9781503951822</p>
<p>View this book on <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/Tuscan-Child-Rhys-Bowen-ebook/dp/B074QL7WNM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1545221726&sr=8-1&keyword=the+tuscan+child">Amazon</a></p>
</div>
<p>Rhys Bowen writes with vivid imagery, and I was transported to a little village in the Tuscan hills. Her imagery goes beyond sights and sounds to include the tastes and smells of rich Tuscan food (I mean, it’s Italy—writing about the food is almost obligatory), and the interwoven narratives created suspense and mystery that compelled me to keep reading.<!--more--></p>
<p>The only faults I could find were some unnecessary exclamation marks (one of my pet peeves) and some over-explanation. But overall, this was an engaging read, and I would recommend it to fans of historical and war-time fiction.</p>Rating: 8/10 Date Read: 2018-12-18 ISBN: 9781503951822 View this book on Amazon Rhys Bowen writes with vivid imagery, and I was transported to a little village in the Tuscan hills. Her imagery goes beyond sights and sounds to include the tastes and smells of rich Tuscan food (I mean, it’s Italy—writing about the food is almost obligatory), and the interwoven narratives created suspense and mystery that compelled me to keep reading.Writers Read2018-11-08T00:00:00+00:002018-11-08T00:00:00+00:00http://alexmaplestone.github.io/writers<p>Writers read. Otherwise, words become trapped. You reach for them as they lie slumbering, mired in mental sludge. But when you read, words become alive, buzzing with enough energy to dislodge from the muck. They flow from your pen, seeming to originate from outside of you, and you write with more insight than ever before.</p>
<p>Some <a href="https://stevenpressfield.com/2013/10/you-as-the-muse-sees-you/">authors</a> <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius?language=en">think</a> that great ideas do not originate from us, but from muses—spirits from Greek and Roman mythology that love nothing more than to bring great art into the world through humans. However, these muses only help those who consistently work to better their technique, so that when inspiration strikes, they can execute their ideas to the best of their abilities.</p>
<p>Will you be ready when your muse comes calling?</p>Writers read. Otherwise, words become trapped. You reach for them as they lie slumbering, mired in mental sludge. But when you read, words become alive, buzzing with enough energy to dislodge from the muck. They flow from your pen, seeming to originate from outside of you, and you write with more insight than ever before. Some authors think that great ideas do not originate from us, but from muses—spirits from Greek and Roman mythology that love nothing more than to bring great art into the world through humans. However, these muses only help those who consistently work to better their technique, so that when inspiration strikes, they can execute their ideas to the best of their abilities. Will you be ready when your muse comes calling?